Is it just me?

I find myself in the mid0705190044361retreat-0st of a change. Since I am just a “young pup” in the Pagan community I don’t know if its me, if its something that everyone goes through, or if its something deeper, something that has been changing in Pagandom that is triggering these feelings.

Maybe its always been this way, but I feel myself longing for something deeper.  It seems like so much of what I’ve seen in the pagan community has been glitzy and fun and eye catching, but now its all starting to feel hollow.  When I see a ritual now I question “why are we doing this???” – is there a reason?  Does what we are doing right now matter?  Does the Goddess and God require it, enjoy it, or are we just doing it because someone told us we should?  Or is it just theatre – are we just doing it this way to try to impress the other people there?

This may not be indicative of any change in the Pagan world – it may just be a sign of personal growth.  I hope so.  Lately I find myself loathing anything that I perceive to be pageantry.  I long for a deeper connection to Spirit, my Higher Self, and the Goddess & God.  I need rituals that matter.  I don’t need or want to watch a Pagan themed skit – I want to honor the gods.

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